Archives for category: Wedthing

My most common hits are still coming from Scott Pilgrim searches. Were I to take it as an indicator of scale, O’Malley’s gem is more important than Terry Pratchett.

I can’t choose between them, I love them both too much.

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I’m tremendously happy that I didn’t make a New Years resolution to blog more. Aside from the fact that I have never made a New Year’s resolution with a straight face or possible scale, reality has struck against me and she. I had planned to blog about Japan while in Japan: this was first hampered by being stranded in London for eight days under weather conditions favourably thought of as ‘arctic’; secondary hampering came from trying to write about the said personal disaster. It’s too depressing to go back to a very bad headspace involving high stress, failing health, damaged ankles, impossible phone calls and red tape cutting off your ability to function while on honeymoon. The return fared no better, as we came back to a house still without heating (a long story 13 months and counting in the making), a still-broken fridge, doors as yet still-unrebarrelled and, but a few days after landing the eagle, a kitchen flooded thanks to a burst pipe.

And that’s just the highlights!

It’d be very easy to just roll over and whine, but to Amsterdam with that noise. This is an upbeat blog, goddamnit, and if I can avoid cursing up a storm here and on Twitter through sheer force of will in the last few weeks, then damn it we will beat Misery’s ass until Kathy Bates turns up with the notice of surrender. For all the rough, nasty, horrible crap we went through in the days that preceded and followed the Wedthing, we also got to meet a lot of good and splendid people and relish fantastic opportunities.

Read the rest of this entry »

While the temptation to bitch endlessly around the vagaries of climates and airlines is still present (and will fallalal along soon enough, worry not), I thought I would take the time to post the six comics I drew as part of our wedthing favours. This, in part is because I’m not sure if anyone managed to get all six, since we put them into the bags individually and at random. So prease to enjoy and click to embiggen!

Sarcasm and Silliness Read the rest of this entry »

It’s official: wedthings kill bloggery stone dead. At any given point you will not have time and or energy and or the will to care about something other than preserving your sanity while doing those do’s that grown-ups do do. Work goes unedited in your drafts folder and the weekend evaporate under the heated weight of 101 things to do which, if scientists will bear investigating, is the worlds first self-renewing source of energy. Cold fusion nothing: create an engine to harness matrimonial task lists and you’ll power the earth for life and on the cheap. There has been a list of casualties slowly building up over the last few months, among which were (and remain) Dragon Age Awakenings, followed by the PS3 entirely, the cinema, friends, leaving town, leaving the house, sleep… Even now, I’m feeling vaguely guilty that I am doing something not wholly related to the event itself, and this is with almost everything that can be done actually being done.

(I and she really do not get people who want to continue organising this sort of thing once it’s over. The anticipation and all is nice and the day will be great, but we will be very happy to have our lives back.)

It’s now under a week until The Day Itself hits, which is weird and unreal. I’d even call it fey, but only because I’ve been rereading The Lord of the Rings on and off for the last few weeks. It could also be the near-terminal lack of sleep, but let us think positive, yes? It will be a rollicking good time so long as I get some rest and can maintain vowel control asdasfddfgfagfdaweezzzzzzzzz

The Wedthing is pretty much organised at this point, much to the amazement of my mother. I’d like to claim credit, but I really don’t think much of it was down to me. Anything extant and yet to be organised, on the other hand, is. Business as usual, then. The majority of invites have been sent out, with a few more to go as addresses slink into my email’s inbox. I live in absolute dread of the fact that I have almost certainly forgot someone, who will now think me an intentional blanker, when in actuality I am a social wet blanket who would have everyone come rather than face that dread faux pas. The venues are sorted, the photographer booked and now I just come to the matter figuring out the second, non-karaoke element of entertainment. We have a notion, and my issues surrounding the potential for kvetching re my immaturity and excess thereof is slowly being eroded by necessity and really, reeeeeally wanting it…

The putting away of childish things indeed. I scoff at the idea!

Mind you, getting 10 minutes to do something other than organise (the current preference being for nothing) is proving a challenge even for my keenly procrastinating self. Hollywood really hasn’t exploited the time sink that the organisation of a wedthing can be: it’s always “OH MAI GAWDZ U R HAVIN 2ND TAUGHTS?!?!?! AI M GOIN 2 RUN OFF UNTIL 3RD ACT AND UR MOMENT/REALISATION!!1!,” never “Crapnuggets, the insurance premiums have taken a jump! Meanwhile and to inestimable wordpoop, some of the invites have gotten lost in the mail, the cat is literally eating what little sleep we beg from the night, and now we have to schedule for a wisdom tooth-related surgery!”

On the other hand, I will soon have to eat cake as an act of work. Lots of cake. Cake of which my gullet may not, indeed cannot feel guilty for, expansions and waistcoats be damned. Everyone coming needs me to eat cake so as to choose the most wondrous sort, and that is a glorious state of existence to be in.*

(* No one mentions this in the wedding movies nearly enough. Or at all. I think I hear destiny calling, begging for such a tale as has never been told! A story for men, of cake-tasting and wedthings and playlists six days long! A movie which speaks positively to the masculine needs of and wishes for such an event and, critically, is not The bloody Hangover or its ilk…**)

(** I have not written this at all, I assure you. Unless I have and am being coy about it. Um. Incidentally, does anyone know a good proof-reader?***)

(*** I really need to find out how to do footnotes in WordPress.)

Oh my science, there is now a Wedthing website! Did you know that it can be found here? Because it can be found there!

We have had a few people ask us about what exactly we were doing, in terms of the event, humanist ceremonies and the intricate goings-on of the afters. Where we’re disinclined to spill too much on the lattermost, we figured we should try to be as open as is possible in regards to everything else. Sending people to a blog called Turn My Brain Off would be considered an odd signal, apparently, so heads were together put and Olivia and Brian dot com was the result. It has a nicer ring to it, and garners far fewer askew glances from thither and hither.*

Olivia, having more free time than me lately, put it together while I directed and critiqued from my glorious tent far from the war zone. Also, I found the software she used to design it insane and head melting, so I dodged it like crazy. In my defence, I did build her a website for her thesis a few years back. But dang if she didn’t make it look right pretty. Feel free to have a look (and report any problems we have not yet caught…)

The site isn’t supplanting my occasional word flurries here: it’s more a way-station, information point and an easy way to get in touch as is needed for a more general audience (er, family mostly) than a spot for me to spin and tremble and comment as the need takes me. The site will be on the invites, and at worst all they will have to do is google our names (which, I hope, they already know). Since a lot of people will be travelling to attend the Big Day, our local knowledge is somewhat critical to make it easier for them to get both there and around. The only thing not yet up there that we know of is the date itself, since we are waiting on one final confirmation to cease its provisional status. Between now and then, I still have a few addresses for invites left to get, but then… BOOM!

Man, only two and a half months left. All and no time at all. How are you?

* We did look at trying to get Brian and Olivia dot com to cut down on vowelling issues, but it was not to be. Also, foreshortening it would have produced “B & O” or “B.O.”, both of which I was quite significantly against…

We’re in an odd stasis of sorts in Operation: Wedthing right now. I often feel I should be talking about this here more, for Olivia’s sake if nothing else. I don’t want her to think that I’m not thinking about it, which an absence of bloggery can imply (however erroneously). But I tend to be big on novelty as a function, in the sense of trying to inform with news rather than dwelling further on what I’ve already discussed. If there is little to report, I’m more inclined to wait until there is more for me to say than three lines and a packet of crisps. But I digress…

The stasis isn’t an emotional one, worry ye not. We’re at the point of trying to confirm with multiple parties the go-ahead for a single, unifying date so we can more forward with all the everything that is waiting in the wings on this one motion. Getting away from my back-and-forth between bow-ties and cravats (once so simple, now conflicted by a cunning argument!), it’s mostly a case of outright public awareness. We’ve hopefully had the information disseminated to the active majority of attendees, but I’m bouncing at the bit to make sure everyone knows definitively in a simple, practical way by getting the damn invites off. It’ll be nice to have at it, since it will be the final thrust of who to invite (which has become such a circular thinking for me that there is a groove in our living room for the cats to play in, an inner conflict I have mentioned before and a prime example of what was mentioned earlier). I have no problem with living with the consequences of whatever is chosen. It’s the paralysis of indecision that precedes it that is the problem…

It’s weird. There is a lot to do, and yet there also isn’t. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what readings we could use, and a decision there must be made. I’ve even downloaded a lot of old, ex. copyright books to scour for passages and texts to plunder (a love letter by Mark Twain being a definite favourite, while Vonnegut has surprised me a little by not really having much of anything usable, save for a justification of why he won’t write about love and et cetera). I am forever hampered by poetry, thanks to an unfortunate dislike instilled in my youth that has never been quite shaken off.* The work flows slower than I would like, and yet and yet and yet… I think my own contributions are sorted and I’m really just in the act of making sure I’m sure, to be sure. Vows I started work on long before now, they simply need to be set in ink and thunder. It’s a grand scale of work quickly done…

Then again, my best work is always done with a lack of time, an excess of necessity and utterly without consciousness of form.

The website is built and tested, the colours and takeaways have been chosen, the key players are in place and most matters have gone without hitch or problem. Much has, in all honesty, been done. What dread there is comes from knowing that there is also the issues not springing to mind that are there nonetheless. These panic me out somewhat, since I know I should know what they are, and yet the edam cheese I call my memory lets them slip just far enough out of view as to make them problematic. A glimpsed corner is all well and good, but not fine enough as to allow recognition. Worse yet, Olivia will have told me often and repeatedly and it is my inattentiveness which creates the issue out of the nothingness. I should (and likely will) just commit them to yet another list to be stored in my wallet, to be ticked off as they are trounced by will and action. At the worst, they will remain there taunting me and prompting me to work so as to avoid the impending sense of inadequacy that is my detested (yet wonderfully motivational) bedfellow. A guilty conscience is the friend you love to hate.**

But yes: long story short is that no news is as much good news as anything else can be these days. Work proceeds, albeit planning permission is awaited for the last construction work to begin. Life remains steadfastness in its boredom for the most part. After the interesting few years it follows, the boredom-of-a-sort is welcome relief.

* I would love to like poetry or at least get a sense of appreciation beyond “Well it’s all very nice for those as likes it, innit?”, but without a contextual entry point I just feel bewildered. I presume this is what it is like for someone who would like to read comics but has no idea which issue of Uncanny X-Men will allow them to not go blinkered with information-overload or bewildered from an absence of same.

** Or hate to love. Relationships based on mutual disdain can be confusing in their fetishisation.

Half of the work in this Wedthing seems to sprout like a new hydra head from the sputtering neck of matters already vanquished. Right now we’re in the process of trying to align all the locations for a single date, but also have a new and shiny list of additional matters to consider. Chief among them: what do we do afterwards?

I am by no means a traditionalist, and I suffer an allergic reaction to a lot of things people like to do at weddings. Chief among these? Sing-songs. I freaking hate sing-song sessions. I hated them in college, I hated them when I worked in bars and to this day, my ire has not diminished any. They’re not soulful, they’re not bonding, they tend to be mawkish or obnoxiously political… When you can’t sing (or dislike being serenaded), they’re just boring. I dread sing-songs sessions when I’m out because I have to sit there and wait it out with a gormless smile on my face. I know I’m in a minority in this. I know that this sort of event requires compromise. But you know what? It’s a day for me and she, and I should be able to enjoy that. Which brings us to the problem of what to do.

Oh, what to do?

The poll above counts some of my better ideas so far. Doing some research has turned up neat ideas that probably are not very practical given the realities of who we expect to turn up, verging on potentially embarrassing for all parties concerned (On the Spot Poetry seems like a great idea until you add the context that unless you come from a family of poets, the results will be meant well…) It’s not even a case of expense, which is a nice change, albeit not making the matter any easier. I don’t want to bring a group of people together only to have a section of it feel as bored as I would be by a session. So to the peanut gallery I doth implore: what would you like to do that is atypical of a wedthing setting?

Meanwhile, who would ever have thought that a guest list would be so difficult? This is entirely sourced in my not having seen some people in years and wondering if 1) they would like to be invited, 2) were happy to forget I existed, never mind get an invite, 3) they will be annoyed that they weren’t invited when a shared acquaintance is or 4) I am, as with all things, vastly and inexorably over-thinking the matter and I should stop worrying and just do as I please [mix and match as applicable]. I’ve mentioned this before, but existential ennui is a bosom buddy of mine of late, and this all ties into deeper issues within my life I would prefer not to face as I will then be able to fight the eventual anthropomorphic personification of same in an awesome kung fu duel and DESTROY THEM. So: repetition!

At least the location issue is finally nearing its conclusion. I wanted those invites sent out in July

Bearing in mind that you will be affecting the haute couture of Cian, Shane, Alex and myself…

Suggestions are welcome, as I am making vital decisions that will affect the future of being awesome!

The weirdly appropriate My Year in Lists is rattling through my head like a meme on the meta-amphetamines.

Trying to assemble a guest list is an interesting cliff face to mount. You have people you want there and will be there, people you want there but you don’t know if they want to be there, people you haven’t seen in years and would love to see now but you don’t know if that’s placing undue pressure on them because you’re kind of embarrassing to know, people you don’t want that desperately wish to come out of a misplaced sense of a affection, people who have kids that you don’t know have kids and said kids don’t get invited so that when they see other kids you knew about present begin to seethe in That Way, people you have to invite because if you don’t will kick up such a fuss with Our Maureen that you will invite simply to spare poor Our Maureen because frankly who deserves that kind of abuse, people you want to invite but don’t because you don’t think they would want to come, even though they do…

Of course, I have been known to over-think these things. I have already been advised by people who have survived the war before me and know better to just do what I like and screw the white noise. But when have I ever listened to good advice? That’s just what they want me to do! Right now, I’m a weird mixture of a self-doubting coffee fiend and Lt George.

I think the safest way to move forward is play the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion and plow through the current list before I hit bat country.

We’ve just purchased the rings. Holy crap, this is really happening, isn’t it? How many panics, freak-outs and general male sillinesses am I allowed between now and December?

(P.S. I can assure you that I am in truth quite alright.)