Archives for category: General shouty tosh

What the what, guys? I am fond of the moving-picture shows, but I find a drought in what should be my land of plenty at the moment. Putting Kristen Bell into a movie I have no intention of watching is not what I would describe as a successful example of counter-scheduling, at least in respect to nerd-men and other such cultural grazers who do not follow Foot-the-ball. Delaying the release of Toy Story 3 and insisting on having a simultaneous worldwide release of Twilight is like punching me in the face and daddy bags, then having at the sandwich I was about to enjoy with a rabid stick. I don’t even know how you could get a stick rabid, but you went and did it anyway.

Please make an effort to try harder and release movies that do not make me prefer to wrench my own teeth out in strange and unusual fashion. It’s not hygienic and it will play merry havoc with my insurance costs. I buy your DVDs with moneycashfunds rather than pirate them and this gives me a gross and disturbing over-estimation of my worth to you.

Love,
Brian x x x

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Moving from Dublin to Waterford was weird because it went against the policy I maintained for the last decade or so in moving from a place with X number of facilities and or amenities I need (read: would like) for a locale with an increased population of same. Hunger pangs (babel: weird capitalist dependency issues) naturally kicked in. But now I have a solution, and it does not apply solely to myself but to any and all easily bored narcissists with flaky attention spans!

Next time you visit somewhere you claim superior, spend so much money on what you need that you:
1. Don’t have the time to leave your main abode if you are to get through it all, and
2. Are too broke to leave, even if (when) you try to rationalise your way out of the above.

I can vouch for its success as a method of self-control! The only drawback is that this will not somehow magically make a Starbucks or other such preferred caffeine-dispensary appear in your present vicinity.

Depending on your level of nerdery, you may have seen the race to be cast as the new Spiderman in the wake of Tobey Maguire vacating the role. The obvious contenders aside, it’s been relatively lacking in anything of note until Donald Glover threw his hat into the ring, reasoning not unreasonably that Spider-man is a character that does not necessarily have to be white. As expected, the hardcore fans have reacted with typical aplomb, stating that No, Really, Peter must be a White Boy because that’s what he is in the comics and it would be racist to change him. Some of the more clever members of this camp have even referred to the matter of the white-washing of the cast of The Last Airbender, painting anyone who disagrees with them as hypocrites. All of which begs the question: does Peter Parker have to be white? Read the rest of this entry »

Just shy of seven years, I’m finally leaving Dublin.

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I’m not sure if it has been officially announced yet, but I’ve been told by people ‘in the know’ that RTE have cancelled The Den. To those not of Irish descent (or, if you were born after the early nineties), The Den was THE television show for children (and laterally the adults who ‘happened’ to be in the room by some strange chance…). The easiest way to describe it in its prime would be to take your favourite Muppets, have them on TV every day and somehow never lower their quality of entertainment. Zig and Zag alone were so popular the UK TV station Channel 4 stole them… Stole them from the children of Ireland! The success of the show lay in the fact that it was helmed initially by seasoned host Ian Dempsey and later by child psychologist Ray D’Arcy, both of whom actively sought to engage their prepubescent (and older) audience with fun and surreality and ludicrous plotlines, almost all of which were engaged within the confines of their one-camera box-set. There was no attempt at making ‘sophisticated’ or ‘mature’ viewing for its childish audience – it was big and silly and loud. It revelled in these things and defined entertainment for a generation of children.

So initially it annoyed me that the Z-list celebrity-wannabes who took over the series in the wake of Ray D’Arcy’s departure (to say nothing of the glorious puppets which either left or were ousted from their presence within the show) had managed to topple this behemoth of my childhood. Then it occurred to me that the aforementioned presenters left many, many years ago and it took the doofs currently presenting it twelve years to muck it up.

That’s all sorts of wonderful, when you think about it, and it’s certainly how I will remember The Den: A children’s entertainment show so awesome, it took idiots over a decade to run it into the ground.

So then, to war.

The old blog became a burden because it was started with no grand purpose in mind other than “Well, why not?”, a tell which could be told from a hundred paces or more on a clear and sunny day. It was adapted on a number of occasions to whatever suited my changing whims and fancies – a work journal to track my progress in college; the heyday in which it was a repository of my comics, scripts, reviews both professional and amateur, and stories of all sort; and its eventual lack of focus and increased decrepitude as work, college and the vague desire to have a life intruded upon and ousted the non-essential elements of my life.

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