What the what, guys? I am fond of the moving-picture shows, but I find a drought in what should be my land of plenty at the moment. Putting Kristen Bell into a movie I have no intention of watching is not what I would describe as a successful example of counter-scheduling, at least in respect to nerd-men and other such cultural grazers who do not follow Foot-the-ball. Delaying the release of Toy Story 3 and insisting on having a simultaneous worldwide release of Twilight is like punching me in the face and daddy bags, then having at the sandwich I was about to enjoy with a rabid stick. I don’t even know how you could get a stick rabid, but you went and did it anyway.

Please make an effort to try harder and release movies that do not make me prefer to wrench my own teeth out in strange and unusual fashion. It’s not hygienic and it will play merry havoc with my insurance costs. I buy your DVDs with moneycashfunds rather than pirate them and this gives me a gross and disturbing over-estimation of my worth to you.

Love,
Brian x x x

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